Courage Doesn't Mean You're No Longer Afraid
Courage is usually identified by the absence of fear; with putting up a brave face because you’re too scared to be vulnerable. Courage is reminiscent of someone donned in armour; fighting with the evil outside and choking the demons within. I, too, did this for so long until my sanity gave in.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but conquering that fear with sweat and tears. Courage is when your inner demons become bigger than you and yet you survive them. Courage is when you take the fire they throw at you to ignite yourself with hope. Courage has always been you.
My mother told me once
I should be polite,
That no matter what or who
Always be respectful
And in times of differences, always be quiet.
My father instilled in me
The fear of losing my name.
Everything that I say or do
Must be done keeping in mind
My family, its reputation and fame.
I grew up in a town where society takes the call
On what I do, where I go and who I become.
My fate was written in stone
Under the name of my father, my husband and my son.
And if I would want to work,
I should better be alone.
After all, who needs to work
When you can have all the comfort
Of a big house, few helps and a bag full of gold.
I believed everything they said.
I promised to be the damsel in distress
I dreamt within my set limits
Which was safe and yet less.
Until I woke up..
To break all the barriers
And kick all the knights
To burn all the gold
And carve my name in skies
The damsel in me
Put on a dress
Of dark lace and sheer back
It walked with much finesse
Fell down nine and got up eleventh
In tenth I laid and cried
Unlearned a lot and learnt I knew nothing.
I tried and failed and failed and tried,
Until my sanity began to sting
Courage became my last name
And stubborn my first.
I finally saw the world through my lens
Saw everybody's sky and earth
But my ground is sky and the sky is pink.
And that is all that matters!
I colour my future in the shades of present
I wander in ruins of my labyrinth
I create my dreams starting from the sky
I say hello right after a goodbye
Trailblazing my own fire,
Now my mother takes it from me
The courage she lacked initially
And my father’s name comes after mine naturally
"And when they dare to tell you about
All the things you cannot be,
You smile and tell them,
'I am both war and woman and you cannot stop me.'"*
*Excerpt from Nikita Gill’s An Ode to Fearless Woman