Butterfly

I have heard that mountains are made of the same material as sand, but their size says otherwise.

I have heard that the sea and ocean all began from a drop, yet the depth I see is just as deep as the one in my soul.

I have heard that the mighty was once weak, but their strides tell a different story.

I have heard of treasures made from ashes, but their worth - priceless. 

And I have seen

I have seen plain wood turn into artworks of majesty. 

Everyone sees the finished work, but nothing is said about the art that accomplished this.

I have seen molten turn to glass.

I have seen the caterpillar blossom and the flowers bloom.

The past becomes the holding for the future.

Hope into faith

Faith into strength

I have heard that most beautiful persons come from pain.

However, there was a kind of pain that made me, maybe it’s all of it put together.

And perhaps if I was saved quickly, I would have lost the ability to thrive just like a butterfly would.

Pain is not often perceived by those around you as what it is - pain.

It is perceived as “growth”, but does that really take away the truth of suffering?

It doesn’t, but see, I saw that this in fact is the marking of my core; it is my depth.

So yes, I have seen.

I have seen the process of a woman rising.

I have seen her letting go and embracing herself in truth.

I have seen that the becoming of a man is nothing ordinary.

It is a birthing 

It is like a flower blooming 

It is like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.

The end is beautiful, but the process requires strength.

So you see, this is my emergence.

I am still telling my scars as a story

Till the scars become stars and my story becomes a legacy.

Though my body has been stretched by what the world wanted from me

Even though I had given so much to gain so little from people, I gained myself.

With courage, I am letting my walls down

I am trusting slowly, a step at a time.

I am letting my voice be heard, and no, I am not giving myself up to wrath.

I am not giving in to the test of survival only

I am leaving what hurt me, and I am turning the pain to joy.

Just like a slave trying to understand what freedom is and taking the chains off me, one by one.

And yes, it is with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart, for I am re-designing my becoming. 

For when the balms became knives to my skin, even as a child, no one saw, no one heard.

Yet I am becoming.

I am still unsure

I feel unready, but I know

I know my future lies ahead; therefore, I pursue.

My past is now a fuel that drives me along.

As I am on this path, I am embracing the fire within

I am letting it burn beautifully 

I let it consume me as I become one with it.

For there is beauty even in the ashes.

There is faith in hopelessness, and with this I am bold.

Bold enough to scream at quakes that shook me.

I am taking my space. 

I am choosing to be free.

I am not letting the dark define

And even with the tears in my eyes, here I choose to stay standing.

I am choosing to be my truth 

I am choosing not to run from the storm 

I am choosing to bloom afresh 

For my story  is worthy of being told

Just like a caterpillar, I am learning to become the butterfly.

-Alria